Yadonushi.....

Uke/seme quiz from FISHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xD

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 12:40:14 GMT

The SEME or UKE Quiz
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as The Homicidal SEME

You are the truly highest level of SEME as well as the most dangerous and sadistic. You love to force others to do your bidding and have absolutely no clue what others mean by 'feeling sorry'. You like the dark, evil, and heartless but nothings fun if you don't get to break it. You will not tolerate others pushing you around and an easy word for your personality is bossy. You could skip the romance and get right to the bed if you wanted to but then again you never even need the romantic-hoo-ha and that's why you're matched with he Devilish UKE. All UKE fear you in some way but that's jut how you like it. You could never befriend anyone that your little Devil-UKE didn't show you to which means the only SEME you would get along with would be the Breaker SEME. It has been established that you are the kinkiest kink in all of kink-town but one thing you really love is to make your partner beg and to punish them. Don't be afraid, be insane.

The Homicidal SEME

95%

The Devilish UKE

75%

The Sorrowful UKE

65%

The Gentle SEME

65%

The Optimistic UKE

55%

The Breaker SEME

35%

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 13:18:14 GMT

I just want to say…

….ACET..your math part sucks…that’s all.

Stress, you will be the death of me someday. I love my baby group, up to the point of drowning myself in stress tabs and chocolates just to finish the job. If I die, I want my cause of death to say, “Stress”. That is how stupid and deadly you are to me.

Promotional brochure, I hate you. I don’t like the way you may come out. But sadly, with all the time that’s left; you might turn out to be one of the most despicable projects, me and my lab partner had ever done. With all the hating I’ve done, I just might have enough to start my one-man war against the world.

Script, I dislike you. Even with all the revising, I can’t come up with dialogues that would make it look real. I hate interviewing, but Lois has to interview people from the outside. Even with all the editing Marlyn has done, I still think you are missing some parts. If you were a body, you’d be missing blood and bones. Asia has to give you some *spice* so to say. I’m all technical, doing general and tech jobs. Save the mind-fucking for the important people like the editor.

So script, you better come out right. You are the bible of our film documentary.

Asia, I love you with all the love I could give to a lab partner, but with all the projects we’ve been doing. I think I want to raise the white flag. I can’t keep up with the pace. I’m the lesser half of our academic relationship. But I like how we use Physics time to work out our other projects. You are not human, I swear. I don’t know how you manage to have days where you’ll not go to school-just-for-the-fun-of-it and still keep up with your studies. I’m a nut. I crack under a lot of pressure. Please forgive my rants. But I like how we use Physics time to work out our other projects.

Aircar, you’re the source of all the group’s insanity. You made us go through hell. It was your fault that each project would have to be divided into pairs, so that all would work.

Nyeh, Sab’s idea was wrong I tell you. Even she had to admit it was hard doing this in pairs, rather than four of us doing it as a group.

I just want to say I loved the free day…NOT! Now, we have Math and Pani long tests to haunt us still..

I need by cybercrack….*coughcoughendlesssurfngcoughcough*

Screw my grammatical errors!

Bleh...

Brain meltdown...

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 13:21:46 GMT

Arrgghh! Too much stress! Can’t take it anymore! Next week is definitely hell-week…

Things to kill:

1) Lab Report

2) Physics Report: Summary and Conclusion

3) Paraphrase Review of Related Lit…

4) Letter to the Grade School..i(stupid debate shit…)

5) Questionnaire for debate crap..contains evidence to murder other team and win debate (must analyze for interpellation…)

6) Revise and do prepared speech..(which questionnaire crap and evidence thingy is needed to accomplish thingy….)

7) Literature Report( Romanticism)

8) Essay Writing on Sab’s painting..(need sab’s painting..therefore…)

9) Revise canvass for VA (Revamp everything..)

10) Long tests (Math,social,pani and physics…)

11) Prepare dagger to quickly end worthless life and attain eternal peace….

I think I want to do #12 first, and “attain eternal peace”…

I’m sorry Asia, see what I told you?? I’m the unluckiest lab partner you’ll ever have...I get mood swings and can’t function normally without coffee…

I promise to use your intellectual knowledge for the most useful things….like how to attempt to finish a certain Ps2 game without realizing that we are within Ms. Escano’s hit range.

…she does have those pretty sharp stilettos that can stab your eyes out…

I want coffee. I want those black papers with the nice shiny designs that look like blood and wrap my big, fat bible with it…

w/c btw is full of nonsense quotes about the sarcasms and unfair treatment Life has given us, worthless humans…

Long test tomorrow…arggghhh Complex Numbers are nice if they really are imaginary and stay imaginary…as in…in the head and go poof! Disappear…

Damn it.

I hate you life, stop making me suffer and just let me end it..

Suddenly, the pointy end of a fork seemed pretty interesting at the moment.

Whoop-de-shit

Overdue update....

Sun, 28 May 2006 21:40:40 GMT

Review classes are hard, not that I’m not bitching about it…that much…

It’s just that I never knew that commuting 3 different transportation ways, all in one day would be hazardous to one’s health…and money. *laughs head off at the price*

There is also this thing about me being too much in a daze to process what is being taught up at front. They teach you in one day what St. Scho teaches us in one year…Urrghhh talk about cramming…

Some of my review mates are really, really smart. One guy’s from PhiSci and he often teaches us hard to comprehend people on Math and the like…The others well....they did come from schools that takes foreign students...Half of our foreigner review mates are the ones that get topic being taught at class...We have a bunch of Koreans , some Chinese dudes and a German boy who was the clown of our class.

..and that there were more boys than girls in our review...*makes gagging noise*
Some were pretty nice in a weird sort of way, some of them were just making that much noise to make us girls pay attention to them at class... At least, that is what Patty DC says...

Btw, Me, Marlyn, and Patty DC are the only ones from SSC....Dang...

We were pretty shocked to learn that A LOT of things weren’t taught back at SSC in terms of Math, Chem and make-your-brain-feel-like-soup subjects alike…

But gladly, review classes are about to end. No more pestering Marlyn over her over perkiness in the morning, or doing pranks with said girl over certain review mates of ours..*wink wink*

Sige nah, kailngan koh na lumayas kasi ngayong oras lang ako makakalibre magonline ng halos gising pa mga tao..(Kung mayroon mang gising ng 2-6 sa umaga), O hating gabi, kasi doon lang akoh makakalibre ng comp!

Miss koh na kau!

…..damn schiznits...and slurpees...

…..absofuckinglutely fantabolous…

OVERDUE entry..

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 02:21:50 GMT

Summer nah....I still feel that next week we'll still see each other again. Feh..
Oh yeah, summer necessity seems to be broken...sort-of-kinda-ish

Funny how time flies so fast. Last Thursday, we all had an overdose of bondness and corny jokes ala' Sarj and Wylla.
After Periodicals, each student from 3-R were assigned a CLASSROOM each to clean up. 43 classrooms in the HS unit for 43 students with an offense.
We were all praying that 304 was the one assigned to us, or rather be assigned to her. The idiot that made us stay for 3 more hours after dismissal.

But, it was fun. ^U^
We changed into *working* clothes. Some of us looked like they went to the mall, but in fact, was really just going to the dirty, dusty classroom. Some changed into their *pambahay*, so that , "Pag dating sa bahay, hinde na kailngan magpalit...wakekekek" I was of the latter.

We had fun watching the resident 'pasaways' of the group do a parody of the Marching ceremony of the Gradeschool unit. (No offense..)

That was basically what happened. Oh, I forgot. Miss Magbanua and the class said our goodbyes in very very SOUR terms...*grumbles about PMS-ing advisers*

Shit, My beloved *machina* got broken. My vital outlet for my annual summer angst.

Miss you people!
Kita-kits sa YM!!

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 12:03:38 GMT

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

CRIMSON89 CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS

From Go-Quiz.com

I know this sucks...

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 13:45:00 GMT

I know this sucks....but hey, flame me...so that when the critiquing comes I won't be able to feel anything anymore...feel free to trample upon what's left of my degrading self-confidence.... i know you want to....

This thing I wrote is something that came out of the blue.....its swimming in a sea of angst and stuff most people loath...oh well read at your own risk...

please be kind and give it a title, I don't know what to call it....

here it is...:

I never knew life could be..

.. so poetic and tragic

How one person such as I..

..could be suicidal and pessimistic

I am a person, nobody knows..

..who is just there, looking unenthusiastic

Nobody cares, nobody dares..

..to the girl who’s anti-nostalgic

For I am her, whose head is in…

…the clouds

the poet talking endlessly without…

…a doubt

to the notebook, the paper, the

person without a name

Nameless is she, who lives in my mind

the person taking over what’s mine

See how life fucked me hard, on the line?

Life made me what they loath the most….

I am she who err the innocent

Patron of the Emotionally Unstable

Queen of they-who-write-stupid-drabbles

Eve of the Suicidal

Scholastica of the Demented

Watcher of the relented

Lilith of they-who-fall-and die

For life is poetic and tragic…

…for those such as I

.......please give it a title?? and I know it sucks...

Scared shitless...

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 15:20:54 GMT

Heh...

After so much mental coaxing and forced coercion on myself...(weird)

Ive dragged my sorry and lazy ass out of the freakin bed ,on which I've spent all my 2 months worth of fun and happiness, to finally update on whats happenin in my fucked-up life...

1) After grandaddy died, I've been having the same consecutive dreams of me not bein in REC, or not bein in class with my friends, not goin to College and then killing myself all in one freakin dream in a night....

2) Which led into me not sleepin at all, then realizin that after a few short minutes I'm sleepin again....

3) I've never been online much and I've practically missed all the happenings out there in the cyber world, which in turn caused some serious catchin up to do later in the midnight/dawn time of the day....

4) My close cousin's has Anemia...and nobody in my mother's side has a care about her...I hate that...

5) Boycotting whatever on them for havin been this bad on my poor cousin...

6) I haven't shopped for school supplies yet...

7) I have yet to but the complete manga set of Kizuna and Lovemode.....

8) I'm really scared on the upcoming school year thingies....I'm scared of who's my classmate, where will I eat in the lunchcounter, will Kalaine and the others still find time to stay with me or that some of the people I've known have forgotten me....

Damn...I've never been this scared....

About time...

Sat, 23 Apr 2005 10:44:32 GMT

Haven't been here for a while.....I've been far too dead to not update since so many things happened....

My grandpa just died...and we buried him last Thursday. Never in my whole life have I cried for someone who's dead...maybe because Lolo is quite close to me and he in many ways influenced me ALOT.....

I remember when I was young I use to bully older people than me and he was the one who disciplined me....He disciplined me, and my other 2 cousins. He used the kind of -hit-the-brat-till-it-sways-method. He used to hit us pranksters with a whip. (the whip was used on horses before because my Lolo was a Kalesa driver after the WW somethin..) I missed him alot. Everyday, before he died, I always visit him at the ICU at the hospital in Medical City. I have to keep my poker face on since almost all of the staff knew he was goin to die....

My mom and her siblings just didn't want to admit that........

So there, Lolo died 4 days after his birthday.....what was really sad was we all planned to celebrate his birthday on a Sunday....

But we didn't celebrated his birthday. We instead celebrated his funeral....~sigh~ Life sucks....

I didn't get to even say goodbye....I only saw him and even if I wanted to say it...the words just won't come out...instead.......

....tears came........grandchildren, his children......cried and mourned....cept for me and my sis....

So now, I've come back to my habit of not sleepin ever....coz I've been feeling spooked and scared ever since Lolo died.....

Damn....

Angel

p.s.

Nicole soweeee kung hinde tau ngka2usap....heheheh sama-sama tau sa Elective ah?? Visual prehas tau...sana si Issa din....hehehe ^U^

Salamat pala sa lahat na naka tulong skin sa Perio! Hehehehe Slamat Patty, Nicole, Issa at ang aking mga lunchmates cna Kalaine eckeck...kc nka2long kau skin dhil tinututor nyo koh b4 kc bobo akoh hehehehe....X_X.....TY! Pasado akoh...

Ja!

Quizzes, quizzes, quizzes...

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 14:55:52 GMT

Your element is Darkness. You are the truly evil
one with a black heart and no soul. People
avoid you since you cause so much trouble and
enjoy seeing others in pain. You would like
nothing more than to rule this earth and be
hailed by all. Everyone is annoying and stupid
anyway and are a waste of oxygen. You are
probably a cast-away from society and family
and have had a tough life where you learned to
live the hard way. Now you want revenge on your
pain and can no longer feel love nor care. You
do not wish to befriend anyone and you
certainly do not wish to be in love. As a
student of having learnt everything the hard
way, you tend to be manipulative when you want
something for yourself. In your head there is
only you that matters, and why shouldn't it? No
one cares about you so why should you? In
school you probably ditch classes and go
somewhere else instead of sitting in a
classroom. It is not that you are stupid,
because you're probably very smart, but
everyone annoy you. And having to sit in the
same room, breathing the same air as your
enemies is not desired by you. Rate and
message!

What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
brought to you by Quizilla

You are not sad, you are resentful

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by Quizilla

Your connection with darkness is because you are
evil. Yes, dear quiztaker, you have evil within
you. Lots of it. What makes you different from
the rest of the results is that your evil is
pure. I'm guessing you are a sadistic person
too. All people on this earth, according to
you, doesn't deserve to live like they do and
be happy. No, you want to see them at your
feet, obeying you until they die. You are not a
people person, unless they function as your
slaves, and you look down on everyone else...
Lonely on the top, eh?

What is your connection with darkness? (pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Your wise quote is: "Reality bites with a
variety of sizes of teeth"(-Tony Follari)
As a person, you think life is just plain
painful, horrible and everything else you don't
like. Happy people confuse you. Alot. I mean,
why are they so happy anyway? You are depressed
and perhaps utterly alone and live life rather
montone. You feel there is no reason to really
be here and feel helpless.

What wise quote fits you?(pics) UPDATED
brought to you by Quizilla

Life sucks and you know it. Nothing ever turns out
okay, nothing ever goes your way and while you
have to live this horrible life the gods are
laughing at you. The whole meaning with life,
according to you, is simply to die. But you
have not become this way just like that, you
have probably been decieved, betrayed and hurt
by people who meant alot to you in your past.
To you, life is not even bittersweet.

How do you see life? .::minor update::.
brought to you by Quizilla

Your soul is vengeful.
That is the driving feeling you have in your
life right now. Someone fooled/betrayed you
really bad and now you are after them to make
them pay. Your heart and mind has been
blackened by your hate for this person and it's
on the line obsession. You need to let go, but
that is something you just are incapable of
doing. Betrayal is something you don't take
very lightly and you can easily make new
enemies. People often see you as a cold and
harsh person who may be in need of anger
management, but they don't know what you're
going through and can't understand. On the
bright side; you don't give up that easy when
you've decided to do something. Hopefully you
will have your revenge, if it is within reason,
and get your honour and dignity back.

How is your soul?(pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm bored to death

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 14:07:24 GMT

~sigh~

Everythin feels fine...too fine...it makes me sleepy and bored....

Hmmmm...got a new comp today. Its all shiny and bright....

gives me the lust to vandalize to death...*smirks*

Ragnarok seems all fine. One thing got me worked up yesterday, there's this thing that my cousin installed...Its another MMORPG game. The first thing I did when I saw it....

I uninstalled it...Heh..serves them right...

But the damn bakas installed it again...Hmmpph...

My char in Ragna is kinda slow in levelin up...still at lvl 75....

Don't get me wrong but if I wasn't so obsessed with gettin this at lvl 99 by the end of summer, then I would have made another char...I want a dancer!! *pouts*

Me and my brother dreamt of makin a dancer and bard....both workin side by side....what a fucked up dream..

Its alright to dream isn't it??

La lang..I feel so depressed, bored and kinda.....

...dead

Angel
p.s.
Found a quiz...I did it again since a cuz of mine said that I already took it before...Yep, I'm that bored...

You are a maniac
killer.
It doesn't matter who they are and what they
have or haven't done. You still want to kill
them. And for a simple reason only; it's fun.
Seeing people in pain is like ecstasy. Maybe
you have some sort of mental problems or you
are this way because of previous deep scars,
only you know. But now you are sadistic and
maybe you only like to see a special group of
people be in pain (e.g. preps). However you are
not the most social person in the bunch and
people think you are weird. That bothers you
somewhat but atleast you can entertain yourself
with daydreaming about killing them. After all,
they have no idea what's coming.

Main weapon: Explosives and torture
equpiment
Quote: "Insanity: a perfect
rational adjustment to an insane world" -
R.D. Lang
Facial expression: Wicked smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 16:44:50 GMT

Dammit....I can't go online in the day....That's why I keep missin all the good stuff...~sigh~ Sorry, Nicole-chan if your computer got broken...at least you get to have a new one...I've been using this piece of crap for 4 and 1/2 years since we've moved to a different block. ^U^

Sorry guys if I wasn't able to be of assistance...if anything happens....*sobs*

I start going online only at night...

Damn...it makes me look like a vampire...

At least I'm catchin up on my ZZZzzzzz.I followed both Patty and Nicole's advice before the sleepover ended. I have to get some sleep or I'll get sick then die..Mwahahahhaha!! Heh, that will put me out of my misery.(prays to someone out there to come and blow up Angel's head so that they won't be able to bury her and cremate her body...)
Insomnia can make you crazy and stupid. A very good example of said statement is said owner of this journal. (>0<)

You are "Yakuza" (Japanese mafia)

What Japanese Smiley Are You?

I'm not bad...yet....*smirks*

Bleh

Angel

Dammit...

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 11:22:00 GMT

Dammit...RO won't work..it keeps on flashing "Failed to connect to server" Fuck it...I'm almost at lvl 70.....dang...so close.....

Sowee guys if I wasn't online in RO or here that much....too busy killing zombies in Resident Evil 4...Leon's sooo hot...kinda looks like Squall Leonhart...(weird...)

Sana po hinde kau glit skin...peace??

p.s.

Gumagana ba ang RO sa inyo Patty? Nicole??

Hehehe...Cge babooosshhh!!

Angel...

Fuck it...

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 05:50:24 GMT

Finally, back to civilization....

Just got back from the province...its a good thing actually since I get to be reunited with the computer and the tv....~sigh~

I really feel crappy today....don't know why though...maybe because of an entry I wrote then...some thing replied/commented which is in fact not what it is(or rather not what it seems)....SO fuck it! Alam ko ang ginagwa nyo kya please lang wag nyo koh gaguhin...

Kasi nababastos na akoh sa inyo....

Nakakainis kayo....

Angel

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 11:03:42 GMT

The past 2 days was really great!

I had a so much fun. But I got sick on the sleepover. First, Nicole and the others fetched from the house...I was really -void- of emotions since that is what I do when I'm not adapted or at home with the surroundings...I feel like a sawsaw really....again....

This sleepover was suppose to be shared by bestfriends...and I'm the one standing out....They all know each other by first name basis....Uhhh...I'm definitely known as the "ate ni Lexa" by the other people present in the sleepover....

Maybe thats why I'm soo quiet and sickly at that time...Normally, I wouldn't even have a fever in summer...I'm too depressed and nervous....

Knowing that I'm gonna suffer hell once I get home after this makes me stay up through nights...Yeah, during the sleepover, I didn't sleep...We finished whatever we were doing...or mainly basking/watching in Legolas's sexy aura and hunkiness at 12:30 and after that I can't sleep....Being depress makes me sick and non-sleepy..(is there such a word?)

I keep on reflecting how lucky I am yet how wrong this is since its so embarrasing for my part since I get to sleep at the bed while Miss Raine gets to sleep at the floor and yet she deserves the right to be at the bed...I'm supposed to be the one who sleeps on the floor since I'm the sawsaw, I'm the epal, singit...I'm just somebody that got invited to a sleepover shared by bestfrends and kadas...That is so wrong..I hope Miss Raine didn't get mad that I intruded on their sleepover....or Patty and Nicole for that matter....But its so nice...~sigh~

I'm sorry if I'm sawsaw ha guys...

Angst will kill me one of these days....

Abso-fuckin-lutely fantabolous!

Angel

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 12:25:30 GMT

I am...

I am pet writing of my pain

I am a person livin the life of shame

I am your daughter hidin my deep depression

I am your sister makin a good impression

I am your friend actin like I am fine

I am a wisher wishin this life wasn't mine

I am a girl who thinks of suicide

I am a teenager pushin her tears aside

I am a student who doesn't have a clue

I am the girl sittin next to you

I am the one askin you to care

I am your bestfriend hopin you'll be there

~Angel

Somethin to express my angst in a literary not so great way...I know I am not that good so shut it...I know my poems or whatever are a bunch of crap....

Don't know why I've been a lot like that this time around...

A similar occurence happened also on these months last year...~sigh~

Somebody told me a while ago that I'm depressed too much...That I drown myself in angst even if I don't have a reason not to...I didn't mind her much because...

.....frankly, she doesn't know me too well....She didn't know what I experience here at my personal hell house called home, she doesn't know what I think or what I feel during school..she doesn't practically know who I am really...

Cept that I'm the girl that loves to read yaoi fics and play Ragnarok...thats all everybody cares...Klariss and Kalaine don't treat me the same anymore...They just don't mind the girl that walks beside them during lunch or recess....

So who is her to judge me?? Maybe thats why I kinda snapped at her earlier...coz she was gettin too much on my nerves...but still...I can't seem to hate them....

I don't want to let out my feelings towards them since I don't want to drive them away.....I can't drive them away since they're all I got...

Yet, somehow I feel awkward...really awkward hiding these things to them...I can't keep it in anymore...

I can't vent it out since I don't want to hurt them by telling them this...But I can't keep it in...anymore...I can't let myself be hurt anymore since I practically don't have time to care for myself...Heh I don't sleep right anymore....

Thanks to *them*...They're the reason why I can't people in my class...

I had my palm read by one of our dearest teachers...She said that I'm kinda confused with my path...and I have different personas or personalities which I CAN control...I don't know but isn't that a disorder?? She said that its a disorder when you CAN'T control it...But I can...I switch my mask to different kinds of people..when I'm with them..I'm a cold hearted bitch..when I'm with other people its kinda the opposite...~sigh~ Nicole's the one who's suppose to be schizo not me...but I'm technically not...Heh....

I can't try to vent it out normally nowadays....if I do...people tell me I'm too depressed...but isn't it so? When you wake to a place where your personal sanctuary called home is the first place that brings you nightmares everynight? I can't tell what it is since I have a sibling here in LJ who WILL tell, then there goes my freedom and my life....When at school, you feel kinda insecure and paranoid around people whom you can't feel to trust, yet you can do so?

I'm really pathetic...Its nice knowing that even if I'm like this I'm an honor student which I'm not.....or I can be great at this and do that yet I cannot...I'm just a common, average IQ battered highschool living in an earthly hell called life...Yep, thats the normality of my so called life...

God, I feel so pathetic, and sadly...I AM pathetic....

I hate you...I hate them....

Abso-fuckin-lutely fantabolous...

Angel

Whoop de Shit....

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 11:43:33 GMT

DANG!! DANG!!

ARGGHHH!!

Stupid guy! Grrr... I hate him!! I never knew that men were sooo utterly stupid and lame-ass bastards!! Oh, I hate the 2 of them...They should go fuck themselves to death for all I care...Fuckin fairies...

Just because I don't act like a girl in RO (coz I focus more on my skills and leveling up so there I dn't have time for chitchat cept for when Patty and Nicole are online....) doesn't mean that I AM not a girl in real life, God Dammit!!

They keep on bugging my brother when he uses my character...They keep calling him fag... or rather me since I'm the original owner of said character...I let my brother use my char since my arms hurt from vaccinations...But that doesn't give them an excuse to that to him...or me...

Fuck them...Just because I didn't give them my #, didn't talked to them much, didn't want to meet them in real life or talk to them in RO they call me a fag or a fuckin lesbo...

DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!!

Abso-fuckin-lutely fantaboulous...

Angel

DAMN YOU!!

Tue, 01 Mar 2005 11:29:15 GMT

GYAAHHH!! I really can't stop it!! All this pain and angst is ebbing away my sanity!!

I hate her...I hate you if you're here...(I doubt that...you don't do this kind of stuff...)

DAMN!! Why can't you let me go?? I can't help it...I don't know what to do...I'm so helpless...Its all your fault..If you didn't said that particular comment then they wouldn't have left me behind..

Everybody I've come to love...leave me behind....I hate it...

But who am I to stop them?? Its their wish to go...far away...

Its their wish to leave for the better or worse...I'm not even part of them...I'm just a sawsaw...

I never belong....no matter how I try to fit in....I can't .....

I should've never enjoyed this schoolyear if it will come to this....

I hate it now...When you enjoy something it doesn't last....

Why does it have to be now???

Judgement has already passed..It shoud've been done already damn it....

Now, because of some stupid guy did..and said...I'm gonna be left alone again....for a whole year in fact....

Alone again....damn it...I barely survived this year...with the help of *them*....

Now I'm gonna be alone again because they will leave me.......

Heh...in all my frustrations at school...I kept on beating the floor with my fist...

Now I got blisters and fresh scars to ease a little bit of pain...

But I can't get away from it!!

No matter how hard I try to vent it out here online. It always never stops pouring..the pain and angst....

It just keeps goin out....

And I now vent it on a hard surface *courtesy of right fist*..as well as this journal...

I now officially freaked out Nicole and Isabel with my scars on my right fist...

DAMN YOU!! I HATE YOU!!!

I WISH I NEVER MET YOU!!

ARGGGHHH!!!

Abso-fucking-lutely fantabolous...

Angel

KWIZZES!!

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 13:08:00 GMT

Your inner soul is calling for help! You always
seem so depressed, lonely, and feel like an
outsider. You may have a cold, sad exterior,
but in all reality you are hurt inside and
bottling up all of your anger. Everyday you
wonder why are you still here when there is
nothing left? You use to once be a happy,
loving soul, but it was damaged by 'them' and
seems like it never can be fixed again.
However, you have yet seemed to realize that
there are people out there that deeply care for
you. They secretly have a thing for you because
they find you to be dark, mysterious, and full
of secrets, not to mention being the prettiest
person in the world! You like to enjoy your
time by yourself expressing your feelings
through forms of art, and enjoy nice quiet
scenaries that just dazzle your mind with awe.
Your bedroom is basically your sanctuary where
you can hide out, hidden from those who gave
you all of the pain. Try to loosen up and have
some fun! Never start frowning because you
never know who's falling in love with your
smile :)

What Is Your Inner Soul Trying To Say? (With Pics, See All Results!)
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Thanks to technolgy I'm able to vent out my frustrations for the past week...Whewwww!!

JA!!

Angel

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 13:23:26 GMT

I can't get away from all this angst...Don't know what to do....anymore....

I hate my life...People use me when they get tired of me..if not at school at home....

So it begins my misery....in the form of words....:

I hate you...

You used me again...

I bared my heart to you...showed you what I truly am...

Showed you my true soul....

Yet, such a small thing costs our friendship...

You said that you weren't like them...

Openly admitted that "I'm what you can trust..."

I don't know what to do anymore....

I can't trust as I once did...

I did not ask for me to get hurt again...

Desperately I tried holding on to what little sanity I've left....

But still...You heartlessly forgotten ....

Memories of us...what little memories we've had....

Just because of one simple thing....

Our bond has broken...ties of friendship torn....

I trusted you..you said I could...

All because of one misunderstanding...

You threw me away...locked your heart...sheltered you mind....

I'm at a loss...I did not know that it would lead to this...

My heart bleeds the last of its content...

Because of what you did...you heartless monster...

I hate you...

p.s.

I can't take away this angst!! Take it away!! I can't function properly anymore...I hate you...Why did I ever trust you?? You risked our friendship, I did not...

I lost my only friend in that place...

I hate you yet I miss you...

I hate you &*&3....

Damn....

Judgement Day....

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 10:12:26 GMT

Judgement Day will come...

With it brings forth anguish, pain and solitude or hope, love and joy...

I will be judged according to thy will....

I have come to realize that I will be subjected to the first path...

Cursed with a life of loneliness and betrayal....

No matter what I do...I'm already judged....

But a speck of hope beams in the dark corridor...

As you come to my path...

Will you save me??

From being cursed with this earthly hell...

Of all things that have been made...

Will take me away from this path by which I always walk alone??

Judgement Day will come...

Save me please...

I beg by which I offer you my life...

I hope by your unwavering light....

Do not leave me be alone...

In this corridor of loneliness alone...dear light, dear hope....

Savior of mine, rescue me now...

Rescue me from The Judge...

Of which he will pass on...

Tomorrow..the day of everything is affected...

Save me, dear light.

Dear Savior...

Hold out your hand through I will be caged....

In cell of loneliness and anguish....

Savior of mine, rescue me please....dear light, cherished beloved and soothing heart....

Judgement Day will come...

p.s.

People don't mind me...I'm just angsting...through someone....I hope this reaches her...yet I hope not...

If there is anyone affected...SOWEEE!!

I'm really sorry...

Tomorrow is judgement day...

Hayyy Buhay...

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 14:35:27 GMT

Bound....

More that you can ever know...I'm bound to you.....

From the moment we've met....

I felt your unwavering presence bind me to your chains of solitude...

Because of you....I'm always like this....

Broken yet not...like a used up doll you have caused me to be....

Toyed with both heart, mind and soul....

Now that I've served your purpose...Can you not let me go??

Let me free as i've once been before.....

I'm come to despise myself because of you...

A mirror, a shadow, a copy I've become...

Of the thing that I loathed most in the world...

You...You set me free as I'm of no use....

Yet you smirk and laugh at how lost I have come....

You knew that I can't live now....without your senseless acts and cold smiles....

I know I'm free but yet...

I feel as though you've binded my heart to a chained box....

I cannot feel like I was once did....

I cannot trust because you taught me...

That "I'm the only one you can trust"...

"Life isn't worth living if you're not attached to someone of your choice"...

I did not like you...I hated you...but somehow...

You stole my mind,. broke my heart....and darkened my soul....

Firmly, I try to cope on my own.....sadly...

I cannot...knowing that every measly thing reminds me of you....

"Everything comes to an end" you say....

Now that it is finally ending....how come weight falls drastically upon my emotional heart?

I see it now....all these went to your plans...

You knew that I can't live without someone to hold on...

You took that away....

I've finally have come to accept everything that has come to pass...

Now I miss it....Like an addiction that quenches my hungry soul....

I know that is coming to an end...

All that has cherished fondest memories of good and bad.....

Yet, try as you may.....I cannot be broken....not anymore...

There's not much to break anyway...you've shattered alot....

I'm bound to you.....do you not see??

Bound to a life of misery and solitude...

You cannot break me anymore....

Bound not broken....

I am....

Hinderance...

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 09:19:12 GMT

Who am I to hinder you??

Who am I that I should ask you if all this time I've been binding you to chains of solitude and not out of hope??

Who am I that I should ask you "Can I..."

Who am I that you should befriend me if you've always felt that way from the start...

Who am I that I should be befriended by you if I hinder you so?

I've always felt that I've been hindering someone...

It hurts to see that I'm killing you from the inside....

Whether or not I'm the one that hurt you....

It hurts me so...cause I'm the one being affected....

It hurts me more that I see you in pain...

Yet, its like salt in an open wound if I'm the one that caused half that pain...

Now knowing that I've hurt you unecessarily....

Its like a hinderance that makes you fall down...

From that high pedestal by which people have come to admire...

What a wonderful person you are...

And somehow, I'm the one thats drowning...

In pain, misery and anguish as I've seen....

From everything that we've come to know and love....

Such a simple thing can make me break....

Even the slightest anger I've come to grasp...

Everyday of my life....I'm always like this...

I'm someone who can feel other people's pain....I feel for them more than you can say....

Maybe, thats why I cry and angst alot...

Since I always make people fall down...

I'm ansgting more when I see people like you hurt...

Knowing that I'm there yet helpless to do anything....

Since I'm always left in the dark...

People like you don't deserve someone as horrid or as selfish like me....

You deserve more than what I can give...

I'm sorry if I let you fall down...

I'm sorry....

p.s. Sorry if there are people who are affected by this...

Soweee kng may natatamaan...hinde ito tungkol s inyo....Angsting lang akoh hehehe

Ingatz! Babbbboooshhh!!

Angel

Thu, 24 Feb 2005 13:35:10 GMT

I never really understood the concept of friendship....

IF friendship makes life meaningful...(I quote from Kitty-chan's speech earlier...) Then that might explain why I hate life everyday...

almost all my problems relate to friends....

I watched this play today.. called "Boda de Plata" its 25'th silver anniversary in Spanish I think...I really feel awkward seated to a place filled with people who are in groups...In barkadas if you mean...

In case you're wondering people...Kalaine and the others are not my barkada....Sad to say..we're just a bunch of people hanging out at lunch doing senseless stuff...

I can't seem to grasp the worth of it...Last year, I've wished for something similar to this and yet all I got was nothing...

So earlier, I really felt +out of place+ seated next to Patty's barkada...I'm just a person feeling like a *sawsaw* novice in Ragna...

cept that this is real life...

Everyday, I feel like *sawsaw* or a loner trying to fit in the different kinds of barkadas or groups of people who get along with each other.A lot of people tell me that Kalaine and the others are my barkada..but is it?? I can't place myself in there group since I'm too afraid to bound my loyalty and trust in some group...Since if it were to happen like it did last year...

then I would definitely become even more broken than before...

I don't know what to do anymore...

feel so confused....who would I trust??

Oh well nothing else to do..except reflect and angst

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 14:37:18 GMT

Your Hidden Power Is Dark
Angel

You have a Evil and Demonic Soul. You use your
hidden powers for the evil of hell. You are in
constent war with the heavans for you want to
destroy the pathetic humans were they want to
save them. For all people see in you is that
any emotion expecially love is a waste of your
time but your so mysterious that people don't
know you do have a shy emotions that are kept
locked within you.

Gem Stone:Black Pearl, Eye
Color:Black,Hair Color:Black with
Grey Streaks that is down to your waist pulled
in a braid

Quote:You said you read me like a book
but the pages are all torn and frayed

What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
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Today was a pretty fucked up day....Don't know why but when you finally start enjoying something..you feel as though time flies fast...and WHACK! You finally notice that everything you've now come to enjoy is finally coming to an end...It brings with it a new beginning...

the beginning of the end..as I say...
~sigh~

I hate my life..."Hope is wasted on the hopeless..."